Misun
*A week later*
The conversation I had with Jungkook a week ago, in my kitchen in the early hours of the morning was still going through my brain. He was right – he had been right two years ago and he was still right now.
No one could deny the attraction we felt towards one another, except it wasn’t just attraction, it was much more than that. Our chemistry was clear as day. So clear, that the Chief had sent for me to ask and warned me about the complications it might cause at work. No matter how much he liked us, there was a line that might be too difficult to cross and come back from.
I knew all of that, yet my heart still raced whenever I thought of him. He still took my breath away whenever he wore a tux or worked out. I still found myself looking at every detail on his body – his piercings, his tattoos, his abs and muscles. I still laughed heartily at his jokes, even though sometimes I pretended they were not funny. I still went to him whenever I had a problem or I doubted something or I was simply anxious about something. I still worried about him when I saw him acting a little reckless during arrests. My heart still drummed so loudly in my chest whenever he was in any kind of danger.
I was torn. I was so bloody torn between wanting to just accept him and be his and being terrified. I wanted to be in his arms that always made me feel safe. I wanted to hear his voice every morning as I woke up and every night before I went to sleep. I wanted to share everything with him but it scared me out of my wits that I could lose him in a fraction of a second. All it took was just one wrong shot, one wrong fall, one wrong arrest and I’d lose him.
But that was also an excuse. It was a wall I was building around me to protect myself. I knew I had feelings for him, no matter how much I tried to suppress them. I knew I loved him even though I would not be caught dead admitting that. I couldn’t. I couldn’t risk my heart like that. Losing my parents had scarred me so much that the thought of losing someone scared me more than torturing my heart with this deadly love. Besides, I was protecting him too. I knew how much losing his former partner hurt him. If he lost me too…I couldn’t risk him going through that again.
I sighed as I brought the coffee mug towards my lips. I took a sip and smiled as I felt the warm liquid trickle down my throat and warm me up.
I reached for my phone and went to the gallery. I smiled when I saw the last photo I took with Jungkook which was from yesterday. We were at the doughnut shop after we managed to put away another perp.
I wish I knew how he did it – how he managed to be so straight and honest with his feelings and pretend that it was not hurting him.
I shook my head and swiped to see the photo from before. I blinked my eyes as I realized it was of me sleeping with my head on Jungkook’s laps while his fingers went through my hair in a calming manner.
How could I not love him? He was such a tease and he was always so competitive. He was always teasing me and driving me nuts and he was reckless at times but he was also so passionate. He cared about people so much and he was so gentle with me.
‘What a cute photo,’ the waitress said, making me jump as I looked at her. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry. I was coming to ask if you needed anything else and my eyes fell on the picture,’ she said with a smile.
‘It’s fine. Don’t worry,’ I said. ‘I wouldn’t mind one of those triangle brownies actually,’ I said as she nodded.
‘I’ll go bring you one,’ she said as she turned around and happily walked to the counter.
I arrived at the precinct, it seemed after the whole team was here. I looked at my wristwatch, wondering if I was late. I sighed in relief as I hurried inside, only to be greeted by Jungkook.
‘Hey princess, I was wondering where you were. Everything good?’ he asked and I nodded.
‘Yeah, I just went to get some coffee at that shop,’ I said.
‘Yah and you went alone? Why didn’t you take me with you?’ he yelled which only made me roll my eyes while I hit his stomach with my elbow. ‘Ow. Do you have to be so rude?’ he asked.
‘And do you have to be so loud?’ I quickly replied, only to receive his bunny smile. It made my heart leap and I cleared my throat. ‘I just wanted to clear my head and gather my thoughts,’ I said quietly.
‘Hey,’ he said as he stopped and grabbed me by the elbow, forcing me to stop as well. He turned me around gently, his playful smile gone. Instead, there was a look of concern. ‘Is everything okay? What happened to coming to talk to me when you need?’ he asked and I smiled.
‘Kooks, it was nothing. I’m serious, it’s nothing to worry about. I just…it’s nothing and besides, I know I can come to you whenever I need,’ I said as pinched his cheek.
‘Yah stop being so violent woman!’ he said, returning to his smiley self. ‘Let’s go. Everyone is in the meeting room,’ he said as we made our way there.
We could hear the sound of laughter from outside and I could not help but feel happy. I loved these moments of seeing everyone so happy. We kept walking until Jungkook opened the door and we walked in.
‘Ahh, there you are. We were starting to get worried. You’re usually one of the first ones here,’ Hoseok said.
‘Yeah, today even sleepy hyung over there came before you,’ Jimin said pointing to Yoongi.
‘Wait until you’re trying to juggle your career, supporting your wife’s career while having a six-year-old daughter who thinks she can have cupcakes for breakfast, lunch and dinner,’ Yoongi promptly replied back.
‘At least yours is cupcakes, mine has suddenly become fascinated with cotton candy or candy floss or whatever hell that sickly, sticky sugar fluff is called,’ Jin said, sounding both tired and frustrated.
‘Aw come on, you’re acting like you were never kids yourselves, loving this stuff,’ Taehyung complained, coming to the children’s defence, as usual. Nothing surprising there.
‘As much as I did, it wasn’t possible with two doctors in the house,’ I said.
‘Yep neither with my mother. She’d be ready to beat me with her slipper if I didn’t eat the vegetables,’ Namjoon said, shuddering.
‘No wonder you grew up to be like some kind of fitness model,’ Jungkook commented.
‘You’re one to talk. You’re a muscle pig yourself,’ Jimin said.
‘All thanks to the gym and banana milk,’ Jungkook replied with a cheeky grin.
‘Yeah, don’t steal his banana milk. I’m serious, it’s better to steal money from this jackass than his banana milk or you’ll never hear the end of it,’ I said.
‘Yah you stole my last one and the store didn’t have anymore,’ Jungkook said, glaring at me while I simply laughed.
‘It was going to expire the next day. I did you a favour,’ I said, shrugging, only to receive a roll of the eyes.
‘I swear, you two are like Tom and Jerry constantly bickering and fighting,’ Hoseok said.
‘Yeah they are but they’re also like them in the sense that they can’t live without each other. I don’t think they would know how to handle reality without one another,’ Yoongi commented. I felt my throat run dry but Jungkook just laughed.
‘Of course not, she’s my partner and yeah, she might drive me crazy ninety percent of the time, but I wouldn’t change her for the world,’ Jungkook said as he looked at me.
‘Awhh getting cheesy this morning. Are you sure you two are not getting it on?’ Jimin asked, winking suggestively.
‘Yah stop being a pervert,’ Jungkook replied, not necessarily annoyed but still somewhat shy.
‘Maybe you’re just projecting your needy ass on us because you haven’t had much success in getting laid lately Jiminshi,’ I replied.
‘Oh burn!’ Taehyung yelled laughing just as Captain Sejin and the Chief walked in, looking deadly serious. Everyone’s smile dropped and we all seemed to straighten a little.
‘Is everything okay? Do we have another case?’ I asked. They both exchanged a look before the captain nodded.
‘We do have a…an importance case, but um,’ the captain said, struggling for the words. He never struggled.
‘First, I need to talk to Taehyung though. Detective Kim, please follow me,’ the chief said. I saw the captain gulp while Taehyung looked at us before he quickly followed the Chief.
‘Is Taehyung in some sort of trouble because—’ Jimin began but the captain quickly shook his head.
‘He’s not in any trouble Jimin, but, I’m afraid, he’s not going to be okay,’ the captain replied.
‘Did something happen to hyung’s family?’ Jungkook asked.
‘Not his family, but,’ the captain paused as if he was weighing the words, ‘it’s Natalie. She was found murdered in her house,’ Captain Sejin said.
I stared at him, unable to comprehend his words. Did he just say Natalie was murdered? How? When? Why? It didn’t make sense. Who would want to murder her?
‘Di…did you say that…that someone ki—killed Natalie? The same Na—Nat as Tae’s girlfriend?’ Yoongi asked stuttering and stumbling amongst his words. The captain nodded, just as we heard a loud scream from the office, a scream which just shattered our hearts.